I'm not an artist but every morning I make two small pieces of art
TT love their two chotis and I learnt to make them :)
For more than 3.5 years, as a father, I’ve done almost everything that a dad can and should do.
But tying my twin toddler’s hair is something that I’ve always found ways to outsource.
I have found easier hairstyles and have given them nicknames to make them sound cool and escape from TT’s demands for doing their hair the way Mumma does it.
I have always marvelled at the intricate hairstyles that Pankhuri would make for TT, but it was something where you would know the beginning and the end, but the process just gets lost.
I even tried learning the process a few times - I would observe Pankhuri spending 10 minutes in zen mode with each of them, but I would always get lost and found an excuse not to try it that day.
Finally, the day came where I could not escape from the battle anymore. Pankhuri was to travel, and TT needed their neat, intricate hairstyles which they are used to.
So, the training began…
After a few days of practice, I figured out the way of making a good, neat hairstyle with ‘two chotis’ which meet TT’s standard.
Now, my hands know where to go. I am able to part their hair down the middle in one clean line. Sectioned. Plaited. Tied. Repeat the process again.
The way they would feel their two chotis after the process and then smile; this feeling has no parallel. It’s one where I feel genuine connection with them.
The part I want to write down before I forget it
Here is what nobody tells you about the boring tasks of parenting. When you actually start doing one yourself, the task changes. It stops being a chore. It becomes a small window where it is just you and your kid, and you start noticing things.
I noticed that Tara hums when she sits still. A little tune she makes up while I work on her hair.
I noticed that Tashi tilts her head back without me asking, almost like she has been waiting her turn.
I noticed which of them has thicker hair and which one has longer hair.
These are tiny things. None of them matter on their own. But I had missed three years of them. Three years of small, specific knowledge about my own daughters, because the task had a name on it and that name wasn’t mine.
What we hand off when we hand off the work
We outsource a lot of parenting. Some of it we have to. Working parents don’t have the luxury of doing every single thing themselves, and there is no medal for trying. But some tasks we hand off on autopilot. Because somebody else does it slightly better. Because we’ve decided we are not the type of person who is good at that thing. Hair. Feeding. Bedtime stories. Bath time.
We hand the task off. And we don’t notice what we are also handing off with it.
The ten minutes of humming. The tilt of the head. The slow accumulation of knowing your child a little better at the end of the day than at the start.
The real joy hides inside the work
The two chotis taught me that the real joy of parenting often lives inside the work, not around it. Slowing down to do something with my kids, even something as small as a braid, gave me ten minutes with each of them that I would have otherwise missed.
Ten minutes of quiet. Ten minutes of humming. Ten minutes a day adds up.
I am not an artist. I will not get better at this beyond a certain point. The chotis will always be a little uneven. The parts will sometimes wander. The girls will eventually do their own hair and roll their eyes at the photos.
But for now, every morning, I make two small pieces of art. Something I can call my own :)
The PI Square Way
At Life of PI Square, we believe children learn best when nobody is scheduling it for them. When their curiosity has room to wander. When they are trusted to explore, to question, to fail, and to try again.
We built this for our daughters. Now we are sharing it with families who feel like something is off about the default path, but don’t quite know what the alternative looks like.
Want to join us for a Saturday morning at SGNP? Or curious about how we approach learning at home? Reach out. We’d love to walk with you.
Because parenting is easy. When you trust your children.
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